Writer’s Block

This week’s assignment was a persona. The challenge: personify anything, either animate or inanimate, so long as it is not a human being.

Writer’s Block

Inspired by Ollin Morales.

My Dearest Friend,

Well hello there! Bet you didn’t expect to hear from me again! Not to worry, dear friend, I have returned to hoist you from the depths of your despair. You don’t need to fret any more. I’m here to help.

Remember how I used to calm you whenever your mother drove you up the wazoo? Remember how we would sit together and you would pour out all your feelings? All your joys, fears, hopes, and dreams you would spill to me. Especially about what’s-his-name.

Sorry, sorry! I’ll get back to good memories! My favorite days were the ones where you would come home after a night of drinking and the truth serum would loosen your lips. You could not keep your mouth shut, girl! The secrets came flying out like they were escaping some kind of refugee camp. They couldn’t stand being cooped up in your head any longer. They ran to me like parched people in the desert run to an oasis. Why did you keep them caged? You have to let them out, woman, or they’ll come to resent you.

But you didn’t actually want me to keep those secrets, did you? Otherwise you wouldn’t have told me. I mean, really, I would never have told myself anything I didn’t want other people to find out. My entire purpose of existing is to tell the world things; you couldn’t have selected a worse being to keep your confidence. I’m a gossipmonger; you know that. I spare no details of anyone’s lives. I tell secrets, embarrassments and drama with no qualms at all. I make people laugh, I make people cry, I piss people off. It’s what I do. It’s part of my nature. I live to talk. And you so generously provide me with all my material! Couldn’t do it without you!

Now don’t scrunch up your nose, like I know you do whenever you get angry. I’m sorry I left you. I know you missed me so. I watched you throw things, scream and curse when you couldn’t find me. I’m sorry I put you through such agony. I didn’t want to disappear on you; I simply had to. It was a compulsion I did not have the strength to resist. I don’t like it when you cry. But I had to go! I had to take a breather! There’s only so much consistency I can handle! I’m extremely fickle; you knew this before you got involved in our relationship.

Or maybe you didn’t. I kind of just snuck up on you didn’t I? I didn’t give you a chance to make up your mind. I just plagued you and bothered you and poked at the back of your head until you simply had to pay attention to me. The only other option was insanity. Although, perhaps getting involved with me could lead to serious depression…

Nevertheless, I’ve tired of torturing you. I, in my supreme goodness, will take pity on you and return, secure in my knowledge that you will be so relieved to see me that you will instantaneously forgive me my trespasses. If I’m honest I missed you too, love.

All the Affection in the World,

Your Story

Copyright Aspiring Novelist. All rights reserved.

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About Miss Rosemary

is a recent college graduate from NY hoping to complete her novel of ten years. Stop by her blog, Miss Rosemary's Novel Ideas at http://missrosemary.net or contact her at MissRosemarysNovelIdeas@gmail.com with comments, questions and suggestions. She'd love to hear from you! View all posts by Miss Rosemary

9 responses to “Writer’s Block

  • Lua

    This put a big smile on my face! I loved that it was the story talking to you- for some reason I always hear myself grumble to my story, it was nice to hear the other sides thoughts & feelings for a change.

    But will you please let me know how it all turns out? Or better yet- will you publish the writer’s response? 🙂

  • Hema P.

    🙂 — nicely done. I loved the metaphor/image this line created in my mind: “The secrets came flying out like they were escaping some kind of refugee camp.”

    I am waiting for my writer’s block (related to my novel) to lift, too, but have learned to not fight it. I expend my energy in more useful pursuits (like blogging :)). I have begun to realize that it is good to just sit back and let the block take its time in leaving — I’m getting so many ideas to better my story that I’m almost loving it (emphasis on the word “almost”).

    I also blame blogging, some at least, for my block — I think I’m getting the quick fix for writing from it, so I’m being a little complacent. 🙂

  • Lar

    So I had to read this three time to get that. First I thought you referred to the pad below. Then I looked for some other lead, nada. So I re-re_read it and finally I got it. Now don’t fret on the third read I actually read ALL the words. . .Doh! But I thought about the pad photo for a while. Thought about writing a series of stories which had the pay off be the photo. Do you think it a pay off or a cop out? Suppose I am trying to intialize an interaction between my now career, photography, and writing. Look forward to reading what you think. L

  • ollinmorales

    wonderful, aspiring novelist! I’m flattered that I should inspire you.

    “They ran to me like parched people in the desert run to an oasis.”

    You have some great lines here. Well done. Thanks for writing the second half of my dysfunctional relationship. Hahaha… Actually I say “my” but obviously as you imply it’s really every writer’s dysfunctional relationship. It kind of made me realize that both sides of this union can be a bit neurotic, temperamental and crazy right? Thanks for the post!

  • junebugger

    Aww I loved this entry! Reading this letter has boosted up my admiration for you. I truly do admire any writer who loves to write as much as you obviously do.

    I remember writing something like this, of personifying an inanimate object, wayyyy back when in Highschool. It was….surprisingly…..about a desk. I thought this assignment would be IMPOSSIBLE. Because seriously, what was I supposed to write about a DESK?! But it ended up being quite fun to write. My desk was pissed off by off the kids sticking gum on her and writing comments with permanent marker… haha good old days

    • Aspiring Novelist

      Oh that’s a great idea! I mean seriously, I wouldn’t want to be written on (actually I was one time at a party – don’t ask, but long story short Christopher Jones got a big piece of my Irish-Italian mind) and I hate it when I get gum on my shoe, never mind if people actually stuck it on me!

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