Sorry, no updates on my writing status just yet. Haven’t gotten a chance to work on anything yet.
HOWEVER, I did something I haven’t done in a long time … queried an agent. Yep, that’s right, I actually sent someone my work. My hands are still shaking. Woah. Breathe, hon, just breathe.
I usually doubt myself when it comes to submissions since, I’ve only gotten rejections in the past. I know what you’re thinking, whine, whine, everyone gets rejected, toughen up. The issue isn’t that I don’t have a thick skin. My skin is , in fact, quite thick, in both the figurative and literal sense – I ran out of lotion. I can take whatever you throw at me. I actually love critiques, they help me (as long as you’re not nasty of course). The reason I haven’t been sending out my stuff is a) I’ve been too busy and b) it’s too personal.
Half of me is musical and the other half is literary. The literary half means more, so hence I don’t showcase it as much. I’d actually prefer to get up on stage in front of thousands of people and sing a song, completely unprepared than send an agent my unpublished manuscript (and yes, I do realize this is counterproductive to my dreams of becoming a real author). I guess it’s like stage fright, only writer’s fright. It means so much to me and throwing my baby out to the wolves only to have someone tell me it’s good, but not good enough is heartbreaking.
Will anything come of this? Probably not. Am I expecting anything? No. Am I praying that maybe, just maybe, maybe, maybe this is the one? Hells yes!
You never know. But I won’t go crawl off in a corner somewhere and mourn for the rest of my life if it’s not. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.